


Control

by Apollynos



Series: Madness [2]
Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Angel Laurent, Angel Wings, Angst, Dark, Demon/Angel AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Smut, half demon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-05-16 02:15:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19308580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apollynos/pseuds/Apollynos
Summary: >>"Your thoughts kill you, don't they?" Damen asked Laurent, who looked up in surprise. "I can relate pretty much to you, I know how it feels like when your thoughts are... painful and dark", he paused and looked at Laurent. "And especially when those thoughts aren't yours."<<





	1. Found

**Author's Note:**

> Hey :D
> 
> So this one is now the fanfiction counter part to "Welcome to the Panic Room" - This FF is from Damens sight.  
> Hope you enjoy it <3
> 
> *
> 
> >>Thoughts<<  
> "Speak"

>>I cannot stop this sickness taking over  
It takes control and drags me into nowhere  
I need your help, I can't fight this forever  
I know you're watching,  
I can feel you out there<<  
My Demons, Starset

Nervously Damen ran up and down his apartment, his heart beats restlessly against his chest and his head was spinning.

It was one of those nights where the disgusting thoughts came up in his mind, those dark evil thoughts that just won’t let him go.  
And this time it was so worse. Worse than usual.

He woke up from a nightmare and only wanted to get a glass of water and lie down afterwards again, instead, he walk now up and down in his living room like a restless lion in a cage.

He stopped himself. He took a deep breath, kneaded his bridge of nose with his thumb and index finger, closed his eyes and tried to get his breathing back under his control. He hoped and prayed that he would succeed, but the pressure feeling in his chest became even worse and worse and the thoughts more and more devilish.

>>You can try so hard like you want it but you won’t be able to escape me, who do you think you are?<<

“Be quiet”, Damen hissed quietly and drove stressed with his hand through his dark curls. “I know I can make it… I will fight against you, over and over again until I got you out of my mind!”

>>You are so stupid… You humans are so stupid reckless beings. Its so fatal… and so funny for me.<<

A sting was felt in Damens head and a burning pain ran through his left half of his face, from his jaw up to his eye. Painfully Damen groaned and pressed his hand against it but the pulling burning pain forced him into his knees. With his other hand he clung to the sofa, sharply he sucked in the air between his teeth, while the pain got worse.

He fought vehemtly against this incriminating feeling, wich the demon inside him tries to spread out.

“Let me go”, he cried out in pain and finally he succeeded. The Demon let off of him and slowly the pain faded away.

>>You are strong boy and you got a pretty strong will, but watch out, I’ll break you piece by piece until you are mine! And it wont’t take long, trust me.<<

And suddenly he felt so much lighter, Damen slipped along the backrest down to the floor, he laid his head back into his neck and looked up to the ceiling. His breathing was heavy but his pulse was returning to normal. Relieved Damen let out a sigh. He had managed it to fight the demon back again, but he didn’t know for how long he would be able to keep him away from his soul.

Days?  
Weeks?  
Months?  
Or maybe a year?

Exhausted Damen closed his eyes and rubbed with his hand over his face, in this moment he noticed how sweaty he actually was.  
It was getting worse, he didn’t noticed that it was physically so hard for him to fought the devil back to his place.  
Slowly he scrambled up and walk into the bathroom, he switched on the light and goes over to the sink, he leaned with his hands on it and looked into the mirror.

His tanned skin was ashen, the dark shadows under his eyes thus came out much stronger than usual and his brown narrow eyes looked empty, his curly dark hair hung fringy in his forehead and he seemed strained.  
Damen swallowed heavily and lowered his eyes, he turned on the tapand formed a bowl with his hand to spray cold water on his face. With his wet hand he drove through his hair and straightened up again. He took his towel and rubbed it over his face and hair dry befor hanging it back and turning off the light, then he left the bathroom.

He lifted his jacket from the sofa, which he had carelessly thrown there the day before and put on his shoes, took his keys and left his apartment.

He wouldn’t be able to just go back to sleep now, so he decided to go to the nearby forest to get a clear head.

The moon stood high in the sky and gave the forest a soft white light. The only thing that could be heard was the crackling of the wood when Damen ran over it, as well as the soft sound of the wind blowing through the clearings.  
Damen stopped at a small clearing and took a deep breath of the cool forest air, he felt how he was slowly relaxing again and the stress was released from him. A light smile formed on his lips and he looked up into the sky, towards the beautiful moon.

Those were clearly his favorite moments of his life. Just to enjoy the quiet night on his own.

But Damens attention was quickly drawn to something else as he heard a loud noise and a rustling sound. He turned his head in the direction of the sound and carefully searched the area of the cause, carefully he kept walking in the direction he suspected the sound was coming from. He stopped as he discovered a young man sitting huddled up against a tree. Damen came closer to him and noticed that the young man was a young hurt angel.

He kneeled down in front of him and looked worriedly at him.

“What are you doing here?”, Damen asked him softly, tilted his head slightly in curiosity.

But Damen received no answer to his question, instead the angel looked at him as if he was in a trance. Damen could read the light panic in his eyes and this sight broke his heart slightly. He hated it to see angels like this, because he know exactly what might happened to them before.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you”, Damen said and carefully stretched out his arm to the angel, who flinched at the movement and narrowed angrerously his blue cool eyes.

“I see, you don’t want to be touched”, Damen said and slowly rose up. “You know, I know a place where you will be safe and get healing, it’s a special place for Angels”, he added: “Will you come with me?”

Damen could tell from the angels body language that he was far way from enthusiastic about it when he heard this suggestion. He just shook his head, his blond curls moving. Damen look pitifully at him. “Please, let me help you, you are badly wounded and not in a good condition, I can see that.”

With these words Damen seemed to triggerd something in the angel, because his eyes now looked at him mockingly, which Damen were slightly surprised at.  
The angel seemed to gather all his strength together and rose slowly, Damen followed this action and reacted quickly as the angel collapsed in front of his eyes. He jumped to him and caught him.

“You stupid naïve angel..”, Damen whispered gently and lifted him up before he went back to the camp with him in his arms.


	2. Sweet Dreams

I'm at war with the world cause I  
Ain't never gonna sell my soul  
I've already made up my mind  
No matter what I can't be bought or sold  
Awake and Alive, Skillet

Clank.  
Damen startled when a loud rumbling noise ripped him out of his sleep. He had finally slept good for the first time in a while and then something like that happened. Sleepy, he searched the room with his eyes for the cause of the noise and found it quite quickly.  
The angel he had picked up in the woods had apparently fallen out of bed and pulled the bedside lamp with him.  
Now the little blonde sat there on the floor and tried to sort himself out exactly what had just happened there.

The sight made Damen smile and he rose from the sofa and went over to his protégé, knelt down in front of him and stretched out his arm towards him. But his counterpart made it clear to him very quickly that he didn’t want to be touched, because he retreated and looked at Damen dangerously out of his blue cool eyes.  
Damen quickly raised his hands and smiled apologetically at him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to… Well, I won’t hurt you, don’t worry.”

But this seemed to interest the angel not that much, because his gaze only hardened. Damen stood up, but continued to make no effort to leave, instead he held out his hand to him.

“Let me help you up”, he said with a soft smile.

This also didn’t seem to be of much use, the angel turned his gaze away from Damen and tried to stood up by himself.  
Damen sighed softly and he lowered his arm, burying his hands in the pocket of his dark hoodie. Somehow this scenery reminded him of where they met in the forest, the angel had been just as stubborn as now.

“Well, as you like, you can of course try to help yourself,” Damen said and shrugged his shoulders, he turned around and went back to the sofa where a small cupboard stood next to it. He opened the wooden door and took out a bottle of water, then he went back to the young angel.

“You have to drink, your body needs it,” he said soft to him.

But his counterpart just shook his head and looked down. Damen saw how he hardly noticeably contracted himself and his gaze became soft.  
Maybe he thought he’d want to poison him with the water? Damen better told him that’s not the case, maybe then he’d take a sip of the water.  
At least he hoped so.

“It’s not poisoned, if you worry about this.”

But from the looks of it, it wasn’t because of this. Sighing, Damen let his head hang, with some strands of his dark hair falling into his forehead.

This will definitely be more strenuous than previously assumed. Otherwise the angels were never so stubborn when they came here, but this one rased the bar massivel. Its somehow annoying but also interesting. I am curious where this will led, he thought.

“Ah Damen, as I see our little newcomer is finally awake?” The cheerful deep voice of Nikandros sounded and Damen looked up and smiled at him.  
“Yes, somehow, at least. But he refuses to drink”, Damen explained to him and threw the bottle carelessly onto to bed. The angel would take the bottle, he was sure about this, then Damen went around the bed to Nikandros.  
“Well, this is bad if he won’t drink,” he said and looked at Damen thoughtfully.  
“I know, we can only hope he drinks something when we’re not looking, so what have you there for me,” Damen asked and curiously looked at the clipboard his friend was holding in his hand. He smiled slightly at him and reflected concern in his dark eyes. Damen automaticall tightened and somehow he hoped there was no bad news about his protégé.

“Don’t worry, the little one is healthy so far,” Nikandros said to him, who could feel the tension and worry of his friend. “But… He obviously hasn’t been treated very well in the past, I found some old injuries and badly healed wounds when I examined him, but that’s something we can fix.”

Damen nodded understandingly.

“However… I talked to the management and they think that we shouldn’t put him in the camp, instead of this, he will come into single guard,” Nikandros explained and smiled nervously at Damen.  
“That is to say…?”  
“That’s to say, you are the one who take care of the little one privately. He’ll stay this night here and go to your place tomorrow.”

With this Nikandros had confirmed Damens fear.

“Is there no place in the camp or why this circumstance?” Damen asked and crossed his arm in front of his chest. Somehow he was not comfortable with the thought of having the angel alone with him in his apartment.  
“Among other things, yes. But Damen,” said Nikandros and then he muffled his voice a little. “Look at it from the best side, perhaps the little angel can help you.”

Damen knew what Nikandros was referring to and he shook his head.

“Not that again. No, I don’t want or need any help with that. I can handle it well on my own, specially it becomes more dangerous for the angel. If something happens again… No, I won’t think about this.”

Sadly Nikandros smiled at him and nodded understanding. He seems to knew what Damen means and he can understand him very well but orders were orders.  
“It’s okay. I can understand you but it’s still an order from above.”  
“I know. I got it.”  
“Well. I’ll have to go now, We see us and try to teach the angel gently about this.”

Nikandros sofly pressed Damens upper arm and then left the room. Running over with the new information, Damen put his thumb and index finger on the bridge of his nose and gently massed it. He had absolutely no idea how to explain this to the angel, especially as he didn’t even know how far he understood and perceived him. He made a strongly traumatized and introverted impression to him. Damen turned around and looked to the bed where the angel looked over the mattress and fixed Damen with his blue eyes.

“How much did you hear?” he asked him directly and the angel lowered his gaze.

When the angel gave him no answer, Damen rolled his eyes slightly annoyed.

“I thougt so. You will stay here until tomorrow and then you will come with me. It’s the best for you.”

>>You can’t keep repressing me, Kid!<<

The sinister voice came in Damens head again. Damn it, not now. Not here. Concentrated Damen tried to push the demon back into his corner.  
He noticed how the angel had crawled into the bed and somehow it was almost as if the angel knew what was going on here or more like what was going on in Damens mind.

This oppressive feeling the demon brought with is slowly gave Damen a headache and he knew he had to get out of here quickly. Out into the fresh air, hoping he could fight the bad feeling back.

“I will stay the night with you, if something should happen you can wake me up, that’s no problem,” Damen explained to him and smiled warmly at him. He at least forced himself to smile at the angel warmly, because he didn’t really feel like it at all.

Damen quickly made his way outside and closed the door behind him, he would come back at dusk but he had to on his own right now, before bad things going to happen.

>>Have you now realized that you are too weak toward me?! You won’t be able to fight me back any longer! You’ve definitely been messing with the wrong Demon!<<

Damen had barely made it outside when he went down to his knees, the pressure on his body grew with every step. He pressed his palms against his temples and closed his eyes.

“Ah, damn it! Shut up and leave me alone,” growled Damen throatily.

The demon laughed threateningly and pushed Damen to the ground.

>>Hah! Who do you think you are that you can make such demans?! You’re so weak. So incredibly weak. Look how easily you can go down. Do you really think you’ll be able to protect your little angel this time? It hasn’t worked before, you know how it turned out the last time, it’s burned into your mind. Every night you dream of it. It haunts you. It won’t leave you. It will follow you. Forever. And I am just here and wait for you to fall back and hurt this angel. I hear your thoughts, I know you want to protect him this time, make it better. But I know you won’t make it. You’ll never make it.<<

Damen didn’t try to respond, he concentrated on getting his breathing under his control.  
He took a deep breath and exhale.  
And repeat it.  
Damen closed his eyes strained, let himself sink against the cool wall of the house and let his hands sink.

>>You are a disappointment, a failure, you know that?<<

“Shut up!” Damen hissed through his teeth and hit the wall frustrated with his fist. “Just shut up, you hear me!”  
He turned on his back and put his head into his neck, his hair hungs sweaty and fringed in his forehead and his breathing was still a little heavy, his heart was beating wildly, but the voice inside his head was gone. Finally.

He grabbed the collar of his hoody and plucked it lightly to cool his body down. He had no idea how long he would be able to keep it up and whether the little angel was such a good choice for him. He will hurt him for sure and he is terrified about this thought.

Why was there no place left in the camp of all times?  
Why did the management decided to give the angel to him of all people here?  
Nikandros would certainly have been a better choice.

Damen leaned with his hands on the gravel to get up. He knocked the dust off of his clothes and pulled his hoodie back in place. He drove his hand through his dark messy hair and breathed deeply again. Slowly it got dark and he wanted… No, he had to go back to his protégé.

He went back into the corridors of the infirmary and ran into the room to the small angel, who was still lying on the bed and staring into a dark corner of the room. Damen said nothing he just walked up to the sofa and settled down on it. Exhausted he lay down on his side and looked at the wall on the other side of the room. He didn’t really know if his thoughts would leave him in peace or if he could sleep at all calmly that night.

This whole situation was more than frustrating for Damen and he was afraid of how it would develop. Whether he could withstand his inner demon even longer and wheter he was able to take care of and angel in this state.

Damen tried to think about it further, but his body didn’t take it any longer, he was to tired, so his body finally took him to sleep.

>>”Damianos… Why did you do that?”  
“How could you even do something like that? I really thought she was safe with you but obviously I was wrong. You’re suspended… for at least two months. Go now.”

I didn’t do anything… I didn’t do it… I.. I didn’t!

>>Who do you think will believe you? Look at you, look at your hands and look at the woman. This is your work, your work all alone! Be proud of yourself.<<

No… No!  
I didn’t to that… I … Please forgive me.

“I trusted you. How could you do this to me… I loved you!”

You didn’t… You never loved me… You, I saw it! I saw you!

>>Do you really still believe that? Who are you kidding? You know it was your fault. I am you. And that’s not gonna chang, you hear me!<<

Let me go… Let me go!  
Get off of me… Get off…!  
Leave!<<


End file.
